hi hi hi!!

i've sort of given this site up, and i'm leaving it as sort of an archive for me to look back on. I think I'll maybe put all my poems in one seperate page, leaving a new space for me to write about new things. yes, my poems will probably always be sad. i just can't write poetry with a happy ending. to me, poetry has always seemed sad, like a sort of suicide note an art student would write. it used to be the way i vented, the way i would say things i couldn't tell the people in my life. now, it's sort of a form of expression. i'm not in that awful headspace anymore. we'll see if i ever do anything with this page.

another update, this one above the last one strangely. order is innately disorderly anyhow. i've gotten back into baking. currently, i'm working on two cheesecake recipes for a very important birthday. making my own recipe is challenging but not as challenging as i thought it would be. it's mostly figuring out bake times that's gonna mess me up. watching a cheesecake, seeing how long it's going to need to bake? bleh. too much effort. but. there is the hope that this jumpstarts my interest in baking as a career, and makes me genuinely consider going to culinary school. but even if it doesn't, at least i'll have my own cheesecake recipes, that have my name on them. that's sorta cool, isn't it?

the update i gave last wasn't true, i was just fixated. i bake for those i care for, and i wouldn't pursue a career in it. in all honesty, i would have hated going to school for that. i hate the idea of college anyways.

minor update. i'll maybe be doing something with it. i'm less interested in writing, more interested in coding. maybe i'll link some of my projects if i ever remember where they are. so far, i'm adding a little zone for me, and maybe you. finder's keepers.

wow. it has been at least more than a year since i have coded really. i changed a lot. i wrote about baking and the cheesecakes i baked being for a VERY important birthday. and then i never really did anything past that. i'm going to put this update on a new page. and if you can, read it through and with care. this page has been my outlet for years. i don't even remember when i started this. 2018? maybe. anyways. i'll put further updates here. i'm just proud i still have the ability to do this.